Dear attendee's of Notafe festival and potentially interested audience members of this show. Alex Bailey's, Alex Bailey is a partially organised, one-man variety show, delivered by a performer who has fallen on the sour side of fame. From one-liners to half-liners and a couple of, all out, 25 minute flat-liners; An evening of impressions, delivered through the broken accord of an endlessly relegated dream. A dream that's only mentioned once. It won't be mentioned again, please read it carefully and think of yourself. The show promises but one thing: it will turn up if you do.
"I dreamt I was eating a giant marshmallow. When I woke up, my pillow was gone.
I dreamt that I was eating a pillow. When I woke up, I was being sexually assaulted.
I dreamt that I was being sexually assaulted. When I woke up, my mother was gone.
I dreamt that I was standing behind my mother, gently rubbing her shoulders. When I woke up, I had gently rubbed myself off.
I dreamt that I was masturbating. When I woke up there was a pair of sunglasses resting on my navel and a cigarette sandwiched between my penis and bollacks.
I dreamt that I was looking into the face of a man with a long nose. When I woke up, I was in attendance at a children’s birthday party.
I dreamt that I was a magician at children’s birthday party. When I woke up the magic had gone.
I dreamt that I was a self styled hard man who has a problem with their image. When I woke up I was the occasional self styled comedian, Alex Bailey.
I dreamt that I was telling a joke and every time I went to say the punch line, a man shouting “Bollacks” interrupted me. When I woke up, I was eating an oversized marshmallow and needed the toilet desperately.
I dreamt that my mouth was full of softness and nothing but kind words for the people close to me. When I woke up I had been gagged with a silk napkin and tied to my feet by a sexual partner chosen for me by a dating app.
I dreamt that I, like you, must get off at this point and like a summer fly waltz out of this space. When I woke up, it was winter and when we waltzed we wobbled and came to rest outside the front door."
Best, AB
ALEX BAILEY (b. 1981, Birmingham) was a youth team footballer for Aston Villa FC. He graduated from the Royal Collage of Art in 2010 and subsequently was awarded the Young Boys prize. His work now consists of part time acting jobs often as an extra. He makes regular appearances on 'Crime Stoppers' a show that reconstructs crimes. While on 'Crime Stoppers' he has played such roles as - the rapist - the milkman - the postman - the supermarket thief and the offended passerby. He has since lived in Barnsley, London, and Brampton. He currently lives in Vienna. Recent exhibitions include Fusiform Gyrus (Lisson Gallery, London/ 2013), There’s Only Two Alex Bailey’s (Kunstverein, Amsterdam/ 2014), I've Been Sent to Dad's, (99 Coldharbour road, Bristol/ 2015), Make my Benefits Last Forever (Eastside Projects, Birmingham (2016).
